The Art of Strappage

[BooF4FooD]

I thought this was pretty cool. A guy named Derk in Co. just passed, and they are bringing up abunch of his old posts on the Buzz. This was one of them. So props to Derk for this... Here is the link to the original thread http://www.mountainbuzz.com/forums/f11/ ... 11465.html (you gotta check out the pics on there!)
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The Art of Strappage

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The Rules:

Rule #1-You can always get more boats on the roof.
Rule #2-You can never have enough straps.
Rule #3-It doesn't count if you lose a boat.
Rule #4-Safety straps are good but a professional doesn't need to use them.

The Corollaries:

Corollary #1-Go through the rack with single straps when possible. When this is not possible, refer to Rule #2. In the meantime, you may have to link straps and/or go through boat loops.

Corollary #2-Minimize excess strappage. This applies to both number of straps and extra strap length. When you cannot minimize excess strap length, see Rule #2 (i.e. you do not have enough of the proper length of shorter straps). In the meantime, you can tie off the ends of the straps.

Corollary #3-A good strap job is a clean strap job. This corollary pertains to all 4 rules.

Corollary #4-Mirrors will be broken. This however is not the fault of the strapper and he will not be penalized for it. This is the responsibility of the unloader and falls under a completely different scoring system.

The Awarding of Points:

1 point for each of the first four boats on the roof.
2 points for boats 5 and 6.
3 points for boats 7 and 8.
5 points for each boat after 8.

2 points for each boat in the trunk.
4 points for each boat in a seat.

Bonus Points:

You receive 5 bonus points for each stack of boats on your car that is equal to or greater than the original height of the vehicle.

You receive 1 bonus point for each boat on the roof that is filled with gear (note:gear MUST be wet in order to receive bonus points).

You receive 1 bonus point for each additional batch of gear creatively strapped to the roof (so a bundle of paddles is worth 1 bonus point, as would be a cluster of helmets).

You receive 2 bonus points for each person that is in the car but not in a seat (10 bonus points for somebody riding on top of the strapped down boats).

You receive 2 bonus points for each additional set of gear for a different (must be extreme) sport, such as skiing, climbing, mountain biking, etc. that is in the car.

Losing Points:

If you lose a boat or person, you lose all points for that trip.

If you somehow manage to lose the beer for the trip, you lose all points for the entire season.

If you overload your car so much you get a flat on the shuttle road, you lose 5 points (Jacked and replaced tire with all gear still strapped onto the car? 10 Bonus Points).

Don't have room for hitch-hiking bikini-clad river babes? -20
Squeezed 'em in anyways? +50

Recent Addendums:

For boats strapped creatively to the car (not on the roof rack, i.e. strapped to the hood, bumper, etc.) initial points are awarded as if they were on the roof. You then receive 2 additional bonus points for each of these boats.

Getting pulled over because of the strap job -10 points. Didn't get a ticket and got the cop to help you? +10 points.

[Richard]

1 point for each of the first four boats on the roof. I get 4 points. Do I have to share them with Bob?
There ought to be points for distance traveled. Say 1 point for every 100 miles. That would be 8 points.
In fairness, if you run out of gas because of wind resistence then -2 points. It only happened once.

So here is the tally:

4 boats on roof
8 hundred miles
-2 ran out of gas
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10 points total
5 points total for me
5 points total for Bob

Hmmmmmm. Bob says running out of gas was my fault

3 points for me
7 points for Bob

Somehow this didn't work out like I thought it would. I think I will go back to using ropes.

[Bob Stout]

Richard, running out of gas was probably the best thing that could have happen to us -- at least we got a couple hours of sleep while waiting for AAA to get gas to us north of Des Moines. What was it - about 36 hours to drive to Winona, MN - select, purchase, load four canoes and return to AR?

[Richard]

Bob, that was a trip to remember. I think you are right on all counts.

[Z-yak Davis]

I see a good chance for upcoming carnage video.

[Roger]

This one is dedicated to Dirk. You guys score it.



Guess what? We actually had one more than the eight you see. Plus, a to whoever ID's the OPEN boat.

Plus, we finished the shuttle with one hanging off!

All strapping and tying by many and vehicle by A. Turnipseed.

[Bob Stout]

I would guess the marbled dark blue & redish-pink boat, third from left.

[Roger]

Ding, ding, ding! We have a wiener!!! What brand you what, Papa Bob! Or would you prefer a nice red? Get your pics?

[Bob Stout]

Yep, I got them -- they're GOOD!! As you know, I'm a wine sipper at heart - however, for a brew - bout anything is OK - however, I do have a fondness for some of the Mexican brews.

[Roger]

Done deal! I'll surprise you!

[Crane]

Bob, I'll be surprised if Roger pays off! Crane

[KAYAKN]

[GutIt]

And then...

This one has not only the boats, but the shuttle vehicles all included!! No photo, but the personnel are stacked in the king cab and behind the creeker in the bed!

Maybe worth an honorable mention!?

Oops! I forgot to mention that 48 qt cooler you see peeking over the tailgate is filled with frosty cold ones!! It didn't last long at the take out with that bunch!

[Lupe]

I think if you include the paddler, you get like 50 extra bonus points! :shock:

[GutIt]

Wow!

Nice cattle guard/terminal pothole scout, Lupe!

Guess you had to roll the whole truck?