Piney Sunday ARG/RBF Trip Report Photo Preview

[Tim Eubanks]

Ryan, I hesitate to engage in this sophomoric banter because I have more important things to do. However, tests are graded and seniors are gone, so in this brief pause in the education of our youth, we can sling some mud. I will in respect to all involved avoid any anatomical references using the letter 'V'.

You stayed home yesterday? And you're giving me grief about paddling(rowing) something somewhere? Were you planting flowers, baking cookies, dusting furniture, or sewing your new party dress? Perhaps you had an afternoon tea with your bridge group? Playing some sappy song on your horn at a wedding?

In the defense, though none is needed, of the seasoned veterans I was with yesterday, don't be throwing around the 'G' word unless you want an @$$ whooping. I owe whatever skills I have to those guys. Let's talk again when you've paddle rafted the Gauley, didn't flip, and stayed in the boat.

My Ocoee adventure last year turned out to be a quin-fecta by the way: kayak (some of it), OC-1, paddle raft (R2), rowed most of it on the surge,and swam = 5. And it was very cool.

[Dr. Steve Yaney]

I love the picture above..... the guys are all focused on the cooler and she seems to be attempting a brace

[Ryan Viser]

Hahahaha, what are they gonna whoop my a$% with? Their crutches?!?

I would have been out Saturday AND Sunday except I had a late night gig to play Sat. night and just didn't feel like getting up at the crack of dawn to go paddle the Tot in the sub-4 ft. range, I guess that still makes me a wuss even though I paddled 4 days last week braving new runs I'd never paddled before including a run down the Tot at 6.5.

Besides, my flower beds needed major work and you should have seen the looks on the old ladies faces at the nursing home when they bit into my cookies. Oh yeah, they also said to please bring the members of the ARG/RBF home safely

And Zach, are you still giving me crap for that one swim at Devil's Hollow? Like I said the other day, I see a lot of swims in my future, that's what happens when you start trying new moves, and if I have to swim a few times to nail something like the elevator move at Broken Nose, then so be it

Now, if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my knitting. I'm almost done with the little nightie I'm sewing for Tim's future little raft paddler

[Tim Eubanks]

He's almost 13, so make that a drysuit, please.

[KAYAKN]

Looks like one of them is getting Goosed. :shock: The girl grabbing the cooler must be from Louisiana, SAVE THE BEER

[Redneckyankee]

The cooler ended up as flotation for the guy in white. Andy and I also got to see this crew go through the strainer at the top of Roller Coaster, needless to say 2 out of the 6 ended that maneuver in the water. Ah to be young again.



Robert.

[shelbyjohnson]

Forgive me but I just can't look at this without laughing out loud.


Notice the fella with the green t-shirt on his shoulder... look at his foot. He's using the ice chest as ballast but it ain't workin', meanwhile the no look behind low brace he's throwin makes it look like he levitating. Thanks much for sharing.

[Tim Eubanks]

Too bad this was the only carnage witnessed Sunday. Ross called this one perfectly while sitting on the rock watching the approach. They were perfectly mis-lined? and raw meat. Somebody threw a rope to the cooler-retrieving stern man, but he missed it and finally caught up with the beer past the sisters. The cooler lid stayed closed the whole time. There were no reports of found river-beer.

[RandyJ]

We called Walter but he apparently prefers the kayak-infested waters of the Cossatot

Kayaks? What kayaks? Below the Esses on Sunday.


Walter did indeed go to the Cossatot. Here's the Godfather himself, watching over the Esses.

we thought about the Cossatot, but we're afraid nuclear war may break out between ACC members and non members, and we're allergic to radiation).

At least one Non-Clubber was spotted on the river Sunday (no photos to protect his identity). He paddled toward some club members taking a lunch break, and from appearances, his intentions were unclear. As someone acquainted with said Non-Clubber, I stepped between him and Clubbers. A few moments and a few words later, we all had a big group hug. Nuclear conflict averted.

Peace...love...kayaking (and/or rafting/open boating/C-1'ing),
RJ

[davidbob]

You know I'm just razzin ya, but you got the rest of your life to be an ole raft geezer.

[The ARG Shaman has directed me, in my capacity as Public Relations Director of ARG, to reply]

Now Ryan: Of course I'm just razzin' you too, but are you sure you're not a kwakhead? You sure sound like one. For some reason you seem hell bent to ya-ya about a group of open boaters who have accumulated a few canoe thingies on their C.V.s, such as: several ex-Presidents of the ACC; guys with first descents of too many rivers to mention (Richland and Hailstone come to mind); a guy who's done Twin Devils Falls a bunch (8 times I think he told me) and upper Gauley so many times he's lost count; a trip down the Middle Fork carrying all personal gear in open boats; and the rest of us "ole raft geezers" who've followed the real paddler dudes around for some 30 odd years ... (this could get boring).

If that's the best you can do you may want to think about playing for the other side. Seriously. Team Stupid is always looking for new recruits (although they might object since the switch would improve the average IQ in both groups). If you do maybe Tim Man will dedicate his next back flip off the stern of an ARG raft at the upper Gauley take out to you.

Now you want to talk smack to the RBF you just go ahead and take your best shot. The Crack O' Noon club has more collective time on the dreaded poonanny section of the Mulberry than all other elite paddling groups combined. Plus, we've got enough munitions stored at the RBF World Headquarters and Tora Bora Proving Grounds to break Louisiana off from lower Arkansas and shove it all the way to Venezuela (to show our good will we'll even throw in a free subscription to the Hugo Chavez Book Club).

A John Wayne quote from the Sons of Katie Elder comes to mind. A free copy of the soon-to-be-published A Paddlers Guide to Hiking Richland Creek to whoever guesses it first.

Now, why don't we get back to doin' what we do best? Hatin' on deck boats and talkin' 'bout the good ole days (before all our surgeries).

[Zach]

A John Wayne quote from the Sons of Katie Elder comes to mind. A free copy of The Paddlers Guide to Hiking Richland Creek to whoever guesses it first.

"All we want to do is make you a good boater. You fight us every step of the way."
"I don't want to be a good boater. I want to be just like the rest of you."

[Ryan Viser]

HAHAHAHAHA!! Well said, DavidBob, well said! I don't know how to respond!!

Touche!

[Tim Eubanks]

Now you're showing some real intelligence. There are some people you do not want to get into a war of words with.