ARG to Cowper: Thanks!

[davidbob]

Many of you by now are familiar with ARG* and a rafting technique it perfected on the Gauley a few years ago that is often referred to as the "ARG Gauley rock/spin move."

* Arkansas Raft Guides

In order to execute the rock/spin move flawlessly each ARG raft is coated with a special invisible material that creates an anti-magnetic force field that repels rocks. This force field must be field tested with regularity to ensure its continued potency.

ARG thanks Cowper for volunteering to serve as an ARG test crash dummy on the Big Piney yesterday. He loaded some dead weight ballast in the front of ARG's yellow Super Puma and made a run through The Mother, intentionally crashing against rocks in the river left eddy above the drop before center punching The Mother Rock itself. His run showed us that the rock repellent force field for that raft had failed (my test run in ARG's green Super Puma confirmed its force field was still fully operational). As a result we reapplied a coating of the special anti-magnetic material to the yellow Super Puma at ARG World Headquarters earlier today.

Thanks again, Cowper! True friend of ARG!

[okieboater]

does this material work on kayak plastic as well?

[Cowper]

I meant to do that!

(well, parts of it, anyway...)

[davidbob]

Dave

There are two theories, but either way the short answer is "no."

Senior fellows at the RBF Intstitute of Pyrotechnics, after years of field research, have concluded that the special rock repulsing material is ineffective when applied to vessels incapable of carrying a sufficient quantity of beer to even start to catch a buzz (RBF Kayak Impotency Theory).

The ARG School of Gravity and Shuttle-ology takes a more hypothetical approach. ARG doctrine is an outgrowth of a collaberation between NASA and ARG that began when NASA scientists became aware of ARG's scholarly analysis of the rock/spin maneuver under scientifically controlled conditions (ARG's 2008 Gauley trip) that was published in American Whitewater magazine.

ARG's research paralleled a NASA spin wave study. In principle magnetism originates from specific quantum-mechanical phenomena that are not easily explained by mathematical formulations of quantum mechanics, in particular the fundamentals of spin waves (spin waves are propagating disturbances in the ordering of magnetic materials that, from the equivalent quasiparticle point of view, are boson modes of the spin lattice that correspond roughly to the phonon excitations of nuclear lattices). As Danny Ford and other rocket surgeons would tell you, when temperature is increased, the thermal excitation of spin waves reduces a ferromagnet's spontaneous diamagnetical response ...... You know, Dave, come to think of it, kayakers aren't that smart or they wouldn't paddle kayaks in the first place. Just accept that RBF beer/buzz thing.

* NASA noticed ARG for other reasons as well. First, the decibel level of Marcell's Class V rapid voice was interfering with space shuttle communications. Second, doesn't everyone think of ARG whenever they hear the phrase "thermal excitation?"

[okieboater]

Rats, I thought ARG had a winner for kayaks as well.

Having observed the ARG fleet's capacity to both carry and consume their beverage of choice, I accept your well researched explanation.

[Wildwood]

So that explains Cowper "waiting" for us at the Mother until almost 6pm. He musta been stuck to the rock due to failure of the antimagnetic substance. :shock: Way to go Cowp! Nice try.
Jan

[Dee Tucker]

Davidbob likes to keep his audience riveted.

[davidbob]

What’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing on a rustic message board like this?